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Privacy Policy & Cookies

Why this policy?

Some busybody, arrogant, interfering Eurocrat (I can guess the nationality, but daren't type it) decided that computer users are too stupid to know they're being snooped on so have to be told explicitly. It came as a surprise to me because, for instance, I was always amazed by the coincidence that when I looked at lenses for my camera on Google, I got lens adverts for weeks. And Amazon keep telling me I would enjoy more of the sort of appalling music I once mistakenly bought as a Christmas present for my niece. Such serendipity. And who would ever have thought those nice people at Amazon, Google, Microsoft, Apple, Sirius Cybernetics etc would be fundamentally evil money making control freak parasites?

So the EC (bless them) came up with the Privacy and Electronic Communications (EC Directive) Regulations 2003 to cover the use of cookies and similar technologies for storing information, and accessing information stored, on computers, mobile phones, ipads, etc. A cookie is a small file downloaded to your PC/Mac/phone/tablet etc which can scream back some information to a big brother in the cloud.

This Privacy Policy explains what happens to any personal data that you provide to us, or that we collect from you. Please review this Policy regularly as it may change. On the other hand, perhaps you have a life and quite reasonably and realistically don't give a toss.

Information We Collect

In operating this website we collect some data about you by means of cookies. The only cookie we knowingly use is one for something called Statcounter. Click the link to find out about them, but basically it includes, but is not limited to, traffic data, location data, weblogs, IP address, operating system, access times, screen resolution, what browser you are using and whether you take sugar or gin in your tea. Actually, not the last one. It does NOT identify email addresses or individuals, though sometimes if you've got a very clever domain (eg you are in IT or a public body) it is obvious what organisation you are accessing from.

We only collect information about your use of this site, nothing else.

We sometimes link to other sites and have absolutely no idea whatsoever what they do with your information, so click the links or don't at your own risk.

What we do with the information

We look at it to see if the beautifully crafted prose from messrs Parkinson, Davey, Griffin and others are read by anybody (they are) and whether the illiterate witless ramblings written by me are read (they are but not as often). We can therefore see whether it's worth continuing. At the moment it probably is. We also see whether any outsiders read our stuff. Usually it's read by members within a week of posting and then forgotten. But we do get loads of hits from people searching for stuff about Allan Staniforth and Terrapins, and Googling for pictures of Stephanie Maclean and a gif file of a waving hand. Thanks to Steve Griffin for the first, and a flags article for the second.

What we DON'T do with the information

We don't sell it, give it to anybody outside the club, we don't use it to target you personally, we don't even keep details beyond Statcounter's 500 hit free limit. In fact, nobody outside of me sees it except in very summarised form (eg how many hits does the website have). And that last bit benefits all of us because when we were talking about sponsorship, somebody asked how many hits we got. Not having to shrug and say dunno was helpful in getting some money.

What if I you don't like Cookies?

You can supposedly find how to control or delete cookies on your PC or Mac at But if you're interested and/or dull enough to want to look at that website you can probably delete cookies already. To control or delete cookies on your mobile phone, please refer to your handset manufacturer's ironically named help manual which you chucked in the bin when you ripped open the over-designed box it was in and noted it was in 17 languages but the English version was written by somebody whose first language was Vietnamese.

If you manage to delete the cookies, the website will still work and give the same stunning audio visual 3-D surround sound and tactile experience in Times New Roman font on a plain white background that it does now. It's just that I won't know you've been on the site and I'll get even more manically depressed that I put in a load of effort and think that nobody's bothered.

What if you feel really strongly?

If you don't like what we do, can't stop cookies in your browser, haven't got a 12 year old nephew to sort it out for you and don't have Lisbeth Salander working in the next office then please just don't use the website ever again, you ungrateful whinger. This is a website done at no charge for the club members and if you don't like it then do what I do when I don't like something, just walk away.

If you are incredibly sad and want to read more on this foresaken topic

Tony Cotton